I need a coffee. And like 12 punches in the face. Currently thinking about telecommuting from under my desk. Phone-it-in-Fridays! Yes.

I need a coffee. And like 12 punches in the face. Currently thinking about telecommuting from under my desk.

Phone-it-in-Fridays! Yes.

Guy at 0:24 is so rude. He didn’t even say PLEASE. 
(Do you think there is a modifier for Canadians?) 

That time it was grey

THIS IS NOT FALL. There are no crunchy leaves; only dank, silt-laden sidewalks and TTC patrons covered in a pervy-moist film of urban grumpies. I really don’t know what I was expecting of October, being that I’m a “grown-up” who has a daily latte and minimal time for forts.

ANYWAY. What’s new with me, you ask? Oh, you didn’t? THEN STOP READING MY BLOG, INTERNET VAGRANT.

I am very busy editorializing, scraping the vestiges of summer skin off of my nasal bridge, sourcing alternate income, awaiting my iPhone 4S (a fitting tribute to Steve Jobs) and pretending I don’t need glasses. I’ve also developed a nasty habit of buying $100 worth of groceries and then finding solace in non-cupboarded food sources; I’m on this new diet where you eat one gyro every day and look on, gobsmacked, when your thighs no longer touch.

I could like Toronto.

Tonight I am headed to AAA Army Surplus on Baldwin to sniff out a heavy-duty khaki vest – the last piece of the sartorial puzzle for my Halloween debut as “Slutty Christiane Amanpour”. I ditched the whole Katie as Fried Egg concept when I realized that today was…today: Two days before a completed costume is required. There is something really awesome/disturbing about realizing you already own all of the good necessary to look exactly like someone else. Without shopping. 

It makes perfect sense when you think about it: C.A. is an award-winning journalist and I have Booze-and-Joan-Didion Mondays. We’re indistinguishable, really.

Let’s. Do. This.

For the umpteenth, well-intentioned time: I am announcing my promise to post on the regular. This is subject to change and – if we’re being realistic – at the mercy of my affinity for online teevs.


La-la-la-love these guys.

Whale Tooth  


beautifulaccomplice asked:

Wub Ou?



Everybody was well-dressed and everybody was a mess.

- The Strokes, “I’ll Try Anything Once”

Literary Line-Up

I’m the kind of gal who tends to start what she can’t finish (book-wise). So in the interest of slaying the ever-growing tower of books on —-and now, surrounding—- my night table, here is my list of books to read. In no particular order. Just so I can finally make it to the bathroom in the middle of the night without stubbing my toes on Kerouac, Sedaris and the rest of those hardcover nogoodniks.

  1. Life - Keith Richards
  2. Veronica - Mary Gaitskill
  3. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers
  4. The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway
  5. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - Toby Young
  6. The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
  7. Eats, Shoots and Leaves - Lynne Truss
  8. Just Kids - Patti Smith
  9. How Did You Get This Number? - Sloane Crosley
  10. Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell
  11. We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live - Joan Didion Anthology
  12. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - David Sedaris
  13. The Bonfire of the Vanities - Tom Wolfe
  14. On the Road - Jack Kerouac
  15. Kitchen Confidential - Anthony Bourdain

Most of these are 1/3-1/2 finished.

See ya, 2011.